A Weblog about Worship and Songwriting

I normally reflect on the weekly collect, but today, I am just not… there.  So I will ramble.

Well, for two weeks straight, now, we’ve been back to our home church, and it was beautiful, comfortable, a little sad and utterly strange.

My last Sunday as co-leader of worship, about a year ago (!), was the first Sunday for the new priest (I guess not so new now), so when we left, it was truly a time of shifting gears for the church.  And now, as we come, we are here as visitors, “missionaries back for vacation”.  My former co-leader has made some changes, and yet much has not changed at all.  One of my favorite people is no longer on the worship team, and no one has replaced me on guitar, so it just sounds… different…

I dunno: it’s just an odd, odd experience to be visiting a place that has moved on.  I’m glad they’ve moved on - as have we - but there’s just no way to avoid the weirdness of that experience.

We’re between homes (I’ve told people that, far from feeling like we don’t have any home, we actually feel like we have two!), and we have one more year to go in our “Bolivia adventure”.  It’s valuable to be on this journey, and it’s totally worth it.  But, quite frankly, part of me looks forward to coming back, deciding we’re gonna be in one place for a decade (our daughter starts Kindergarten in a year, and we don’t want her moving from school to school).

Told ya I was just rambling today.

Well, Monday it was late fall in La Paz, Bolivia.

Tuesday, we were between worlds in an American Airlines flight.

Yesterday, it was summer in Charlotte, and I was enjoying the roads of Rowan County and my friends with whom I taught for six years.

This Sunday, I will be at Church of the Apostles in Hope Mills, NC (part of my tradition in the Anglican Mission in America).

I’m so pumped!

I haven’t had communion since the night before Palm Sunday!  Now, we’ll have seven Sundays in a row, worshiping and celebrating Christ’s death and resurrection in various churches in the Carolinas.

Don’t get me wrong: the Body of Christ is alive and well in La Paz.  Both the Bolivian and international community are a vibrant part of the Bride of Christ, and she is a bright light in La Paz, shining in the backdrop of spiritual darkness.  Between the many congregations from many different traditions, and the unified house-worship of our monthly Community Group meetings, the Church is alive!

But I’m home.  And when I go on Sunday, I will appreciate the songs and understand every word of the sermon.  I will say the Creed with great joy, probably a little too loudly.  I will hold the piece of Bread, dipping it in the Cup of Wine, savoring that special moment in His presence.  At the first church I visit, I will get to kneel for Communion; I will linger a bit before rising.

There’s something about being at home with traditions, with knowing the liturgy by heart, with having a real history with the parish, whether as a long-time visitor or a long-time member.

There’s something - after you’ve been away a tad bit too long - about being home.

[Long, satisfied sigh]

Third Sunday after Pentecost (BCP, p. 229)

O God, from whom all good proceeds: Grant that by Your inspiration we may think those things that are right, and by your merciful guiding may do them; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen. Keep reading →

If you don’t know me, I should start by saying that my wife, daughter and I have spent the past year (our first of two), in La Paz, Bolivia.  Anne and I both work at a Christian school here.

All things considered, the year was great.  I know I’ve grown closer to my girls (Anne and Avery) and to my Lord than ever before.  I’m so glad we responded to Christ’s (and our principal’s, an old friend) invitation to come.  Can’t wait till we start up again in August, quite frankly.

But tomorrow, while we pack for an early Tuesday morning flight, most of the rest of our dear friends with whom we have taught and labored these past 10 months will be heading out to Machu Pichu; having a 4-year old and major visa problems will discourage one from planning to take ridiculously long bus-rides across South America.

It’s so weird to have basically had nothing but these friends, these fellow laborers, these few dear faces day in and day out… just… leave.  There’s a gap, an emptiness.  As I told the one friend who is not coming back (Kristen, who served three years here and we don’t know what we’ll do without her), “This bites.”

My prayers have been pretty half-hearted today.  I love my Lord, and I so value my dear family (and I cannot wait for that plane ride and that first morning I wake up in Charlotte, NC!), but I just feel like part of me is not here with me anymore. Keep reading →

I’ve been reading Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner. She’s a convert from Judaism to Christianity, and a real brain. But, to boot, in this extremely open and honest memoir, she’s really got her heart on her sleeve. She shares about her journey through Orthodox Judaism to the Christian faith (in the Episcopal tradition), her failures and regrets along the way, her continual stumblings as she walks and grows, her struggles and even a few triumphs.

I’d recommend this book to everyone on planet earth.

Now, while, by my (extremely slow) standards, I have been racing through this book, I find that I have never, after several tries, been able to make it through a John Piper book. “Why?” I ask myself.

I’ve decided that theology comes best when it’s personal. Girl Meets God is jammed full with the theological and philosophical. In the midst of the threads of story-lines from Lauren’s slightly tragic/slightly joyous life, you find her teaching - teaching about how one converts to Judaism, teaching about the theology of the Resurrection, teaching about the sacraments of Communion and Confession, teaching about how Ruth relates to the Jew and the Christian and how the Jewish festival of Pentecost relates to the Christian celebration of the same name on the same day in history. It’s a theologically and historically rich little book.

But when I read Piper, I feel that - where Lauren Winner has sat me down to show me this cool thing she learned about God or religion - Piper comes to me, whips out his entire collection of Calvin’s writings, and slaps me in the face with them, saying, “I’m sorry; I’m doing this because I love you.” He’s heavy-handed, and harsh and sorely lacking in nuance.

Why am I writing this? What’s it got to do with worship? Plenty, I think.

Keep reading →

Third Sunday after Pentecost:

Grant, O Lord, that the course of this world may be peaceably governed by Your providence; and that Your Church may joyfully serve You in confidence and serenity; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.  Amen.

This prayer has some of the greatest modifiers the Church could ever hope to pray for.  Imagine: us, Christ’s Body and Bride, His beloved people, … peaceably governed… joyfully serv[ing]… in confidence and serenity… Picture that Church!

That’s what the season of Pentecost is about.  A season to remind us Who is Boss, and for us to rest in that knowledge; for us to put down our swords and pick up our plowshares, and to, side by side, hand in hand, “joyfully serve”.

I have nothing to add to this; I just want to draw your attention to that picture, that unity, that… rightness.

Our pastor here in La Paz, the guy who, along with his wife has been kind enough to do an English-Speaking service for a few Americans, a couple of New Zealanders and a British missionary all these months, had a story to share about God’s peaceable governing and the strange way it sometimes looks. Keep reading →

Collect for Trinity Sunday:

Almighty and everlasting God, You have given to us Your servants grace, by the confession of a true faith, to acknowledge the glory of the eternal Trinity, and in the power of Your divine Majesty to worship the Unity: Keep us steadfast in this faith and worship, and bring us at last to see You in Your one and eternal Glory, O Father; who with the Son and the Holy Spirit live and reign, one God, for ever and ever.  Amen.

Mike Mason, in the best marriage ever, The Mystery of Marriage, wrote that human love and marriage is a testimony to God as Trinity - an eternally loving community of Father, Son and Spirit.

That’s a great thing to ponder.

But, I’m not really going to reflect on the Trinity today (besides, Mike Mason’s thoughts above are worth a lifetime of thought and worship).  Since I was rather undisciplined last week, and didn’t write anything about Pentecost, I’m gonna backtrack and write about this season we have entered.  Read on. Keep reading →

Haven’t posted in almost a week… I’m not quitting; I’m just doing some urgent songwritery stuff and dealing with the craziness of the end of a school year. I’ve got some posts about which I’m excited sitting in “draft” form, so don’t give up on me!

- Tom